There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
