Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My dick has a subreddit
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
