I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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