I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
