And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
