I need help removing her.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
