He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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