I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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