is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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