'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
