everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
