Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
