I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
foreskin is a definite game changer
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
