1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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