Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
