Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
