Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
