my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
