I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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