I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
