sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
being pregnant is like rehab
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
