Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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