this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
