Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
