So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
