how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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