K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I supernannyed him into submission
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
