Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
