I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
