You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
