I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
