The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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