scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
