Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
