She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
