so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
