i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
