i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I wish I only lived at night.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
