just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
