I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
