I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
