piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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