i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
