How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
