your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
