Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
