just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
