too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
