Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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