But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have demons in me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
