He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My ATM looks so different sober.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
