He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
