Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
