yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
