Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
